Finding Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays
Finding Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays
The holiday season is upon us. Everything around you is moving at a quick and joyous pace. Decorations, lights and holiday music enhance the cheerful mood, but you can’t bring yourself to join in on the festivities. Something is different for you this year. Last year at this time, you were facing an unplanned pregnancy. This year, your child is celebrating with their adoptive family.
If this sounds like you this year, it’s okay that you need a little extra support. It’s okay for you to allow yourself time to slow down. To process through your emotions and feelings of loss. But you don’t need to grieve alone. Reaching out for guidance and support is essential for you to enjoy the holidays.
Adoption Choices of Las Vegas is here for you. Our Nevada adoption center will remain open throughout the holidays, so don’t hesitate to give us a call. Your adoption caseworker or one of our adoption counselors will be on the other line to listen, encourage and support you however you need. You are not alone. It is natural to struggle with postpartum, grief, confusion, and feelings of loss after your child’s adoption has been finalized, and you can always seek support as a birth mother during the holidays.
Your Feelings are Normal Through the Adoption Process
Every birth mother struggles one way or another. It is human nature. Yet, holidays are a time of the year when emotions are usually heightened. That is completely natural and to be expected. Even though you know that choosing adoption was the best choice for you and your baby, it’s not uncommon to go through a period of grieving afterwards.
The confusion, anxiety, grief and sense of loss you feel is entirely valid. Nothing is wrong with you. However, you do want to make sure that you practice self-care to help your emotions stay more manageable. If you allow your emotions to go unchecked, they may develop into Postpartum Depression. Common symptoms of this can include, but are not limited to:
- Depressed mood
- Severe mood swings
- Excessive crying
- Social withdrawal
- Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
- Fatigue and loss of energy
- Reduced enjoyment of activities that used to interest you
- Intense anger or irritability
- Feelings of guilt, shame or worthlessness
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Severe anxiety and panic attacks
Taking care of yourself is crucial. Always be aware of your feelings and never shy away from getting help. You are never alone, all birth mothers struggle one way or another. You are strong and selfless therefore, it is okay not to be okay.
You are Not a Bad Mother if You Don’t Struggle in Adoption
Each and every birth mother processes her adoption journey differently. While some may struggle with the emotions listed above, you may not experience any of them. That is perfectly okay. Feeling confident about your decision without struggling with grief and loss does not make you a bad mother. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care. Through choosing adoption for you and your child, we know that you love your child deeply and want what’s best for him or her. However you process is completely valid.
Ways to Cope with Adoption during the Holidays
If you find that you are struggling and can’t maintain what you’re feeling alone — reach out. Talk to your doctor, counselor or members of your support system. See if there’s a virtual or in person birth support group you can attend for extra support as well. Whatever you do, don’t hold it all inside and pretend everything is okay. You are not the only birth mother who has placed her child for adoption and you certainly won’t be the last. You are loved and valued. There are many different people who are ready and willing to help you through this holiday season.
Our adoption agency is available 24/7 for you and our doors are always open. We are remaining open throughout the holidays. So, whether it’s Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Eve or another holiday — someone will be here to provide you the support you need.
If you feel like you need time by yourself — that is okay too. Self-care is very important and is another thing that will help you cope during the holidays. Do something just for you. Read a book. Write in your journal. Watch a movie. What it is that will help you clear your mind. It’s amazing how small things like drawing, exercising or even just cleaning your space can make you feel so much better.
Support as a Birth Mother during the Holidays
The year 2020 has been a hard year overall, with so many uncertainties and moments of unpredictability. It has added a new level of stress and sense of normal that we’ve never experienced before, which has made it nearly impossible to be around those we love.
Yet, despite this, you are not alone. Adoption Choices of Las Vegas is here for you no matter what. It is by no means impossible to seek support as a birth mother during the holidays.
There are various ways to stay connected. Social media and various other apps make communication easy. Facetime and Zoom are two popular ways to communicate face to face. Scheduling people into your day gives you a purpose for the day. You may use it as a reason to get out of bed but not have to fully leave your home. Giving yourself small and fun tasks throughout the day to keep you busy will help your mentality. The need to stay away from others and inside is not something we are used to but not something we can’t overcome.
Adoption Choices of Las Vegas has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across in Las Vegas since 2012. For information more general to Nevada, please visit our mother site Adoption Choices of Nevada. For information specific to Reno, please visit our sister site Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno. You can also call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: CALL OR TEXT 702-474-4673
Meet the Author: Cynthia Knott is pursuing her English major and Educational Studies minor at Siena College. As President of Siena’s Best Buddies club and secretary during sophomore year, she was always writing and editing emails or flyers. She not only loves reading, but also enjoys researching any topic that intrigues her. Ever since she was 12 years old, Cynthia would watch every documentary on YouTube and then excitedly summarize each one for her family.
Along with various volunteer work at soup kitchens and schools, Cynthia has worked as a telephone marketer and childcare employee. She is grateful to these experiences, as they have allowed her to meet all types of people and developed her communication skills through them. This, in turn, has enhanced her writing skills.