Your First Christmas in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
Your First Christmas in an Open Adoption as a Birth Mother
The holidays are finally here! Time to decorate the Christmas tree, light the menorah and celebrate the Festival of Lights! You can’t wait to see your child and their adoptive family and enjoy your first Christmas in an open adoption together. The thing is…you aren’t sure how this is supposed to work. Throughout the Vegas adoption process, you and your child’s adoptive parents spoke about visits and what contact would look like, but holidays are a bit different.
Don’t worry! You’re in good hands! Adoption Choices of Las Vegas has got you covered. Here are some ideas on how to make your first Christmas together special and memorable.
- Communicate with Your Child’s Adoptive Parents
This may seem like a no-brainer, but maintaining open lines of communication with your child’s adoptive parents at all times is a sure secret to success — especially in an open adoption. So, give them a call or send them an email and ask what their plans are for the holidays. Tell them any ideas you may have for the season and work together to schedule a time where you all can get together.
Remember to be as patient, understanding and flexible as you can be as you’re making plans with your child’s adoptive parents. If your calendars don’t work out to meet on the day of a holiday — that’s okay! Just because you aren’t able to meet on a designated day doesn’t mean all hope is lost. There are many other days during the holidays to choose from.
- Start a Holiday Tradition
Think back to when you were growing up. What were the holidays like for you? What events and activities did you enjoy during this time of year? If there are any that stand out, consider sharing them with your child’s adoptive parents and starting your own holiday tradition as an extended family.
Some fun holiday tradition ideas include:
- Give your child an ornament every year
- Have a Christmas movie night
- Make gingerbread houses
- Decorate the tree or light candles
- Meet for a meal somewhere nice
- Go for a drive and look at Christmas lights
- Take a family holiday photo
- Connect Virtually
If you and the adoptive parents live far apart from each other, or are practicing safe social distancing in the midst of a global pandemic, it may be difficult to meet up in person during the holidays. We understand that this is not the most ideal situation, but the good news is that there are other options available that will still allow you to connect with your child. Because we live in the age of technology, you can schedule a virtual visit using ZOOM, Skype or FaceTime.
By connecting virtually, you can still have the opportunity to celebrate your first Christmas in an open adoption together. You can see your child face-to-face, get updates on how he or she is doing and deepen your bond with your child’s adoptive parents. If you have sent gifts for them, you’ll get to watch their reactions as they open those.
- Schedule a Gift Exchange
A gift exchange between you and the adoptive parents is another great way to spend the holidays together and create special memories. If you aren’t sure what they’d like, be sure to ask each of them so as not to spoil any of the surprise. The same with getting a gift for your child. If you have a keepsake or something special in mind for them, your first Christmas together would be a great time to give it to him or her.
Some cute first Christmas ideas could include:
- Baby’s First Christmas ornament
- Photo Album / Memory Book
- Fuzzy socks
- Gift Baskets
- Clothing items for your child
- Send a Holiday Card or Box of Holiday Treats
Remember that when you are thinking about what to get your child’s adoptive parents, you don’t need to feel pressured to get anything too fancy. A small token to express your gratitude to them, or a gift card to their favorite store or restaurant are always good ideas. If you are more crafty or creative by nature, consider hand making them a gift as well.
Giving them a holiday card or a box of fresh baked holiday treats are other great ideas to show how thankful you are to them. There’s something about homemade pumpkin bread, cupcakes or fudge that put a smile on everyone’s face. Though, if you’re planning on baking cookies or another holiday treat, you’ll want to double check about any and all allergies they might have first.
This time of year may be hard, but we are always ready to assist you through any emotions. Open adoptions are beautiful but may be confusing at times. Communication is essential especially during holidays. Our website will always be available for contact information. Looking at pictures of the adoptive family may bring you a multitude of emotions. In the end you know they are happy and grateful for you. Many birth mothers and families understand your feelings. There are various birth mothers who have felt what you have felt. Researching others who are in your shoes may help you feel less alone. Along with family and friends there will always be people who will happily talk to you. No birth mother should feel alone especially when a part of an open adoption. Never be afraid to reach out to our staff, your adoptive family, friends, family or other birth mothers when you are in need. Christmas is a time of joy, happiness and giving which will always pertain to you.
First Christmas in an Open Adoption
Celebrating your first Christmas with your child and their adoptive parents can be a very exciting, special and memorable time. There are so many great ideas to consider, and ways to create lifelong memories. This is part of what makes an open adoption so beautiful — especially during the holidays.
In the end, it doesn’t matter what you do. As long as you and the adoptive parents communicate with each other and find something you all can agree on, that’s the important part. The holiday season is all about celebration and togetherness — whether you are there physically or meeting virtually. Your first holiday season as an extended family will be one to remember and may become an annual event, so make it as fun and enjoyable as possible.
Adoption Choices of Las Vegas has been providing adoption and surrogacy services across in Las Vegas since 2012. For information more general to Nevada, please visit our mother site Adoption Choices of Nevada. For information specific to Reno, please visit our sister site Adoption and Surrogacy Choices of Reno. You can also call us to speak to someone now. Contact Us 24/7: CALL OR TEXT 702-474-4673
Meet the Author: Cynthia Knott is pursuing her English major and Educational Studies minor at Siena College. As President of Siena’s Best Buddies club and secretary during sophomore year, she was always writing and editing emails or flyers. She not only loves reading, but also enjoys researching any topic that intrigues her. Ever since she was 12 years old, Cynthia would watch every documentary on YouTube and then excitedly summarize each one for her family.
Along with various volunteer work at soup kitchens and schools, Cynthia has worked as a telephone marketer and childcare employee. She is grateful to these experiences, as they have allowed her to meet all types of people and developed her communication skills through them. This, in turn, has enhanced her writing skills.